Post by it's FiSHY, scaredy-cat. on Mar 9, 2010 16:34:22 GMT -5
It's the first lesson!![/font]
Beginning Posts
Wait a sec -- see? I just got off-topic right now! Here I am, supposed to explain how to start a good beginning, and I'm blurting out all this stuff that can be saved for a different lesson, different day. That's how easy it is. So, let's get back on track, shall we?
When beginning a roleplaying post, it is important to keep things interesting. The reason is because you don't want the other roleplayer to overlook an action or fact cause he/she is slugging through the context because you've made it hard to stay awake while reading. Try modifying the way you word something. For example, instead of:
"Brownpaw kicked the ground, spraying debris all over, including himself,"
You can have:
"Paws madly kicked the muddy floor, spraying its ruddy dirt in every direction - including Brownpaw himself, pads sweating with the fury of his anger."
Notice how the second time I made it more grabby. The first time it was also okay, but the second time I added more detail, used better words and worded it in an interesting way. Instead of telling the reader who was doing the action first, I talked about what was doing it, looking closer at what's happening. In your head, you don't see the front view of a brown apprentice swiping his claws against the dusty ground, but from the point of view of a camera, right behind the paws having muddy dirt flung into its view and the raging temper of the young tom.
There are other ways to make a good beginning, too. You can start out with an intriguing question or interesting thought, such as:
"'What if I killed myself to see my family?' Larksong spoke silently to herself, 'What would my clan think? What would StarClan think?'"
If you feel like it or have to, you may also start with dialogue, but remember not to powerplay and make sure that your character's words are worthy of speaking,[/u] or, in other words, not in a way that it is just extra nonsense, although some of those things can spice up the scene and reflect personality.
"'It's training time.'
Brownpaw groaned at the familiar meow. It taunted him again and again at every dawn, every morning. 'I know,' he groaned, voice cracked from lack of use. Secretely, the apprentice wished that he can just jump to a senior warrior rank, no care in the world about replacing elder's bedding or waking up when he didn't want to, but most of all, he'd have respect at the least."
Anyway, I think I've provided enough info for you to get this started.
Let us begin.
He returned, prancing, a well-sized, plump vole hanging from his jaws, grinning in his feline manner. Littlepaw had made a good catch today. Look at the size of that! Cats will be using teeth and claw, fighting over a piece of fresh-kill as nice as this one. The apprentice beamed wider for himself. He could hear it in his head: Littlepaw, the most honorable cat of all ThunderClan!
The tiny splotched furball promptly dropped the kill off at the fresh-kill pile. It landed with a satisfying thump! and a bounce, the biggest catch of the day. His denmates won't be gawking at him today, saying it was pure luck. Oh no - it was pure skill.
To come to think of that, hunting down a vole as big as that one, he ought to reward himself some way or the other. Littlepaw perked his ear, scrolling his eyes around the camp. Crisp, golden leaves cascaded down from the tree, light filtering between the old plant's gnarled branches. The beam illuminated the camp, highlighting the bright already-fallen leaves at lay, wilting and crinkled upon the browning grass. Cats strolled in and out of places, but that was it. At least the elders were always there.
Littlepaw can smell the old cat's stench from the fresh-kill pile. The frail, ol' cat should groom himself. He stinks like crowfood! the tom thought rudely to himself, but it was true. The oldest cat in ThunderClan was very delicate and often needed help, only to deny the assistance and go on for days, stuck in the same position with a spine as worn as his. He was full of many, many stories, however, and Littlepaw always looked forward to those. He was going to be in one of those stories someday, and he knew it with all his heart he will.
"Brownleaf!" he called in his squeaky, little voice. Stubby legs bounded across the camp, barging straight into the elder's den. Littlepaw was panting, "Brownleaf!" completely unaware of whether the old cat was resting or not, but excitement was overflowing so much he couldn't keep from screaming.[/size][/blockquote]
Please reply by starting a new thread!!
Beginning Posts
It's the first lesson...which also means the first assignment![/u]. That adds many unnecessary things the reader (err...the other roleplayer) doesn't need. This can be hard! I often do this by accident myself, too excited for my own good. It is easy to go off-topic and cannonball into a flood of nonsense, off-topic things, thinking you're doing a great job on a discriptive, amazing post when really you have a mob of unneeded things. Always know when enough is enough.
Yes, I know you, but I'll have to know your roleplaying habits a bit better before we really get rolling. So, let's start with some warm-ups.
Warning: you need to do a LOT of reading!!THE TASK
What to do, you ask? Let us begin by writing a response to the following post. However, on a sidenote, if you haven't noticed already, the heading says something about beginnings. I'd like you to create a grabby beginning, but first, I need to tell you why and how.WHY & HOW?
Think of a roleplaying post as a short story. Every response is a tale, however long, however short. Some of the best stories happen in a very short length of time, like minutes.
They are not novels. However, it isn't bad to go the extra mile - just take the other roleplayer into account - do not powerplay or godmod. That is a no-no. Rather, submerge yourself in the moment. Step into your character's shoes, or rather, in this case, pelt, paws, whatever.
Explore what happens in these minutes, but do not stretch it with extra things for the sake of a long post
Wait a sec -- see? I just got off-topic right now! Here I am, supposed to explain how to start a good beginning, and I'm blurting out all this stuff that can be saved for a different lesson, different day. That's how easy it is. So, let's get back on track, shall we?
When beginning a roleplaying post, it is important to keep things interesting. The reason is because you don't want the other roleplayer to overlook an action or fact cause he/she is slugging through the context because you've made it hard to stay awake while reading. Try modifying the way you word something. For example, instead of:
"Brownpaw kicked the ground, spraying debris all over, including himself,"
You can have:
"Paws madly kicked the muddy floor, spraying its ruddy dirt in every direction - including Brownpaw himself, pads sweating with the fury of his anger."
Notice how the second time I made it more grabby. The first time it was also okay, but the second time I added more detail, used better words and worded it in an interesting way. Instead of telling the reader who was doing the action first, I talked about what was doing it, looking closer at what's happening. In your head, you don't see the front view of a brown apprentice swiping his claws against the dusty ground, but from the point of view of a camera, right behind the paws having muddy dirt flung into its view and the raging temper of the young tom.
There are other ways to make a good beginning, too. You can start out with an intriguing question or interesting thought, such as:
"'What if I killed myself to see my family?' Larksong spoke silently to herself, 'What would my clan think? What would StarClan think?'"
If you feel like it or have to, you may also start with dialogue, but remember not to powerplay and make sure that your character's words are worthy of speaking,[/u] or, in other words, not in a way that it is just extra nonsense, although some of those things can spice up the scene and reflect personality.
"'It's training time.'
Brownpaw groaned at the familiar meow. It taunted him again and again at every dawn, every morning. 'I know,' he groaned, voice cracked from lack of use. Secretely, the apprentice wished that he can just jump to a senior warrior rank, no care in the world about replacing elder's bedding or waking up when he didn't want to, but most of all, he'd have respect at the least."
Anyway, I think I've provided enough info for you to get this started.
Let us begin.
YOU PLAY:
Brownleaf
Brown tabby tom with amber eyes
ThunderClan Elder
The oldest cat in the clan, Brownleaf is a very cranky, old cat who only has a soft spot for apprentices. He cannot hear well or see well, and often mistakes cats for someone else. As an apprentice, Brownleaf didn't like getting woken up or getting up, and still doesn't now. He wanted to skip the moons into becoming a respected, senior warrior, but never learned that respected had to be earned until much later in his life, long, long after he became a warrior, and that came at the cost of being forced into having to sleep, do tasks and eat as a regular apprentice does for three whole moons.
I PLAY:
Littlepaw
Black and white spotted tom with green eyes
TC Apprentice
Littlepaw is, obviously, a tiny cat, even for his young age of barely past 6 moons. That doesn't let him down, though, as he can get smug frequently. His denmates resent him, although other cats don't seem to mind, finding him amusing in his arrogant ways. He's also very goal-oriented, except that his goals tend to be very easy to reach. (ex: catch a mouse for the elders today!) When he's not boasting, achieving goals or doing clan duties, you'd find him at the elder's den, listening to stories. At storytime, he changes into an attentive cat, finding inspiration in every little thing and thus feeding his ambitions and desires.
THE SCENERO:
The sun is shining in the middle of leaf-fall and the leaves are flamoyantly colorful. It is beautiful. Trees have half their leaves fallen, half hanging, allowing the sun to shimmer through. Crinkled leaves litter the camp. Grass is browning, going dormant in preperation for the leaf-bare season. Despite the fact that the scenery is gorgeous, prey is disappearing. This doesn't bother Littlepaw, though. He just caught a vole and is very smug with himself, heading to the elder's den to reward himself.
MY POST:[/u][/blockquote]
He returned, prancing, a well-sized, plump vole hanging from his jaws, grinning in his feline manner. Littlepaw had made a good catch today. Look at the size of that! Cats will be using teeth and claw, fighting over a piece of fresh-kill as nice as this one. The apprentice beamed wider for himself. He could hear it in his head: Littlepaw, the most honorable cat of all ThunderClan!
The tiny splotched furball promptly dropped the kill off at the fresh-kill pile. It landed with a satisfying thump! and a bounce, the biggest catch of the day. His denmates won't be gawking at him today, saying it was pure luck. Oh no - it was pure skill.
To come to think of that, hunting down a vole as big as that one, he ought to reward himself some way or the other. Littlepaw perked his ear, scrolling his eyes around the camp. Crisp, golden leaves cascaded down from the tree, light filtering between the old plant's gnarled branches. The beam illuminated the camp, highlighting the bright already-fallen leaves at lay, wilting and crinkled upon the browning grass. Cats strolled in and out of places, but that was it. At least the elders were always there.
Littlepaw can smell the old cat's stench from the fresh-kill pile. The frail, ol' cat should groom himself. He stinks like crowfood! the tom thought rudely to himself, but it was true. The oldest cat in ThunderClan was very delicate and often needed help, only to deny the assistance and go on for days, stuck in the same position with a spine as worn as his. He was full of many, many stories, however, and Littlepaw always looked forward to those. He was going to be in one of those stories someday, and he knew it with all his heart he will.
"Brownleaf!" he called in his squeaky, little voice. Stubby legs bounded across the camp, barging straight into the elder's den. Littlepaw was panting, "Brownleaf!" completely unaware of whether the old cat was resting or not, but excitement was overflowing so much he couldn't keep from screaming.[/size][/blockquote]
Please reply by starting a new thread!!