Post by straycat on Sept 16, 2010 18:48:51 GMT -5
Hi there! I'm new here and all (hi! *waves wildly*), and after recently going on the 20th Warriors craze in the last few years, I thought I'd do some searching for a decent RPG. I was quite happy to find this one which seems active and full of good writers. I'm really excited to get involved!
Anyway, unfortunately I'm terrible at bios, so critique would be most welcome to help create the best character possible and fix any obvious problems that I've forgotten. I do that a lot. Miss obvious things, I mean.
Also, I'm not sure if this is necessary but since I'm still getting a feel for the ground under my feet here, I figured I should mention the tentative initial plans I have for the character because there's a lot of stuff I don't know about that might make this not work as well as it does in my head and at least at the time, I'm still figuring out the current situation in the big picture of the story.
Anyway, Corbin's a city cat that's going to find himself weak, lost, and suddenly in clan territories. I'm hoping he can encounter one of the clans pretty much right away (possibly ShadowClan, just because it seems to fit). Assuming he doesn't immediately get chased away by everyone or torn to little pieces of kitty fluff, I'm thinking he can possibly befriend someone. At this point, I'd like to move him towards eventually joining a clan and having a story to tell about trying to adjust, learn to live in the wild, interact awkwardly with others who may or may not be that thrilled about someone like him being there as he tries to fit into a foreign world. That sort of thing. Alternatively, it could be about trying to make a home nearby there despite not being welcome, which could also be interesting (with more effort would be needed to find reasons for character interaction... The possibility of not being accepted but still making a few friends here and there could provide interesting arcs, though).
Anyway, that's as far as my planning has really gone since I'm still, well, clueless. Just thought this might be useful to include in the bio.
Anyway, unfortunately I'm terrible at bios, so critique would be most welcome to help create the best character possible and fix any obvious problems that I've forgotten. I do that a lot. Miss obvious things, I mean.
Also, I'm not sure if this is necessary but since I'm still getting a feel for the ground under my feet here, I figured I should mention the tentative initial plans I have for the character because there's a lot of stuff I don't know about that might make this not work as well as it does in my head and at least at the time, I'm still figuring out the current situation in the big picture of the story.
Anyway, Corbin's a city cat that's going to find himself weak, lost, and suddenly in clan territories. I'm hoping he can encounter one of the clans pretty much right away (possibly ShadowClan, just because it seems to fit). Assuming he doesn't immediately get chased away by everyone or torn to little pieces of kitty fluff, I'm thinking he can possibly befriend someone. At this point, I'd like to move him towards eventually joining a clan and having a story to tell about trying to adjust, learn to live in the wild, interact awkwardly with others who may or may not be that thrilled about someone like him being there as he tries to fit into a foreign world. That sort of thing. Alternatively, it could be about trying to make a home nearby there despite not being welcome, which could also be interesting (with more effort would be needed to find reasons for character interaction... The possibility of not being accepted but still making a few friends here and there could provide interesting arcs, though).
Anyway, that's as far as my planning has really gone since I'm still, well, clueless. Just thought this might be useful to include in the bio.
[Corbin]
["Crow"][Male]
[Loner]
[13 moons]
[N/A]
____________[LOOKS]
Jet-black, lean, and wiry, Corbin moves with a perpetual wary slink that would easily make him invisible in the darkness if it weren't for his light blue eyes. His unkempt fur is short, which is the only reason he does not yet resemble a tumbleweed given his tendency to forget to give it much attention. It is also the reason he tends to do very, very poorly in the much-despised cold.
His build lacks the compactness to give him great strength, but he is quick and agile and has strong back legs that, while not quite suited for swift running, are perfect for leaping high and climbing. He has slightly oversized ears that makes him look younger than he really is, though the left has a ragged tear from an unfortunate encounter with an angry dog.
____________[PERSONA]
Corbin is naturally quiet, introverted, nervous, and a bit insecure, though he tries to keep this hidden under a mask of cool confidence - with varying degrees of success. He is scared of letting weaknesses show, sure that doing so will immediately cause trouble to descend on him. As a result, he often goes to lengths to act more confident and capable than he really is. This is tempered with his dislike for attention - good or bad - as he relates being too noticed with being in danger. He has very little ambition and no interest in being well known. Both are unnecessary risks to him and in the end, he'd be happy just being left alone.
He is easily frightened, but when threatened, tends to act aggressively. He is a very good fighter, but only because he falls into a sort of fear-fueled panicked frenzy. In the past, this has given him a false reputation of dangerous ruthlessness that he could hide behind to avoid trouble with other cats. Unfortunately, it has also gotten him into many fights that could have otherwise been avoided.
Despite all this, little glimpses of a kitten-like curiosity and an appreciation for small things around him occasionally leak through his usual front of pessimism in the rare times he lowers his defenses. While quite socially awkward, he has a quiet sensitivity and is quite loyal to those he cares about. He's fairly clever and hard-working but becomes easily frustrated with himself - not that he'd let this show to anyone else, of course. Corbin tends to take an extremely (and sometimes overly) practical approach to things.
He is quite comfortable and competent in his natural urban environment. He knows all the best places to dig around for food, how to climb fences and walls, how to avoid dogs and Twolegs and find a hiding place in a heartbeat. He feels most comfortable with firm Thunderpath beneath his paws and the chaotic symphony of smells and sounds of the city to blend into. However, this isn't much good to him now that he's found himself in a strange, frightening new world where they prey moves, trees loom overhead, and everything is so quiet that it's impossible to stop hearing sounds of every strange creature lurking in every shadow.
____________[HISTORY]
Corbin's early memories of being surrounded by warm bodies and cared for by his mother are vague, blurred, and happy. After several moons, he and his siblings were separated from their mother and placed into a large glass box. It was a time of missing their mother, tumbling over one another, being bored, and playing with the Twoleg kits that would come and leave in a slow stream. Every now and then, one of his brothers or sisters would be taken away with one of the Twolegs, never to be seen again. It was a confusing, strange time. Eventually, Corbin was carried away from his remaining siblings as well, taken by a young Twoleg.
He was given to an old, lonely man as a gift. At first, Corbin was quite busy exploring, but when he tried to play with the man, he was most often simply ignored or moved off to the side. As he grew older, he was more and more locked into a small, dark room where he'd be out of the way. Often, the Twolegs would forget about him entirely for days there until his calling for food and water brought the man back. His opinion of Twolegs in general rapidly turned quite sour during these days. Eventually, the Twoleg, tired of the constant noise, simply began throwing him outside.
Finding himself in a strange world larger than he'd ever imagined, away from the room, Corbin excitedly set out to explore. His first adventure was a little less than successful when he encountered an angry dog that chased him all the way home. Thankfully, he only lost part of an ear instead of his entire pelt. His next foray was much more cautious. Over the few months, he began to grow more familiar with the city and met some other cats of the city. Some were not very likable, many were openly hostile, but he made a few acquaintances at least. Over the next few months, he spent more and more time outside until he simply stopped returning to his Twolegs.
Life largely consisted of digging through garbage for food, running from Twolegs, avoiding frightening dogs or fights with other cats, and trying to stay warm during the cursedly cold winter. He joined a few groups of cats here and there, but many were ambitious and violent, pulling him into more trouble than it was worth. He never grew very close to any of the cats and spent less and less time around them. Despite being alone and an apparently easy target, his tendency to violently lash out at offenders and his complete lack of any ambition to threaten them allowed him to get by being left alone. Mostly.
One cold night, he had found a spot near the warm brick of a building when a group of cats barged in unexpectedly. They demanded he leave and the situation quickly escalated into a full fight. Outnumbered, Corbin was hurt and chased away. He hid inside the back of a truck and slept there for the night. The growling of the monster woke him and he found himself trapped inside. He was tossed back and forth unceremoniously for what must have been hours before the world stopped shaking and the monster finally went to sleep, he clawed his way through the pelt holding him in and found himself along a Thunderpath stretching through a strange and foreign land.
____________[IC]
"I miss Mouse."
The calico kitten sat down heavily before rolling backwards uncontrolled and flopping awkwardly on her side.
"I don't," said Hamlet as he cooly ran his tongue across his dark gray fur. "He always squeaks when he's asleep and it keeps me awake."
"Well, I miss him," Nefret said, glaring at her brother disapprovingly. He was always like that. Mother had said he'd gotten that from their father, who she figured must have also been very grumpy and unpleasant, too.
"Where do you think he went?" asked Aeolian from one corner of the glass box. She was usually pure white with small pink ears, except right now she was covered in small yellow feathers that had, a minute ago, been nicely attached to a toy.
"Maybe he's somewhere fun!" Nefret said hopefully.
"But wouldn't he come back to get us, then?"
Hamlet snorted in response. "You know him."
"Yeah, and he's a lot more fun than you," Nefret shot back pointedly.
Corbin tuned out his siblings as he nosed the round indent in the blanket where Mouse had always slept. None of them had touched the spot since he'd been carried away - not even Hamlet. The black kitten closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. Their brother's scent still clung to the fabric. It was getting fainter now, but it was still there. He missed him, too. They all did.
Outside, the Twolegs padded around as he always did, feeding the tasty looking fish, talking to the birds in his quiet voice. A tiny bell rang and, for an instant, Corbin's heart leaped with a hop and stumble. The bell meant Twolegs, and Twolegs meant playtime.
"It's a Twolegs!"
"Play with us!"
Hamlet tried to look disinterested, but his tail was twitching hopefully.
Corbin began to stand, then laid down again, ears flicking uncertainly back, but When the Twolegs - a small female - happily mewed and reached down towards them, he forgot about his worries and raced forward to join his siblings.
Nefret meowed in delight as she was picked up first and nuzzled the Twolegs' arm happily as she was stroked.
"Hey, play with me, too!" called Aeolian, rolling over with her paws dangling in the air. Hamlet just watched, somehow managing to look even more unhappy in the process.
Corbin watched as the Twolegs dangled a piece of string playfully above Nefret and she leaped and tumbled after it, whiskers quivering and tail twitching excitedly the whole while. The Twolegs tickled behind her ears and shivering purrs erupted. The large Twolegs that took care of them began talking with the other Twolegs as Nefret nibbled at the young Twolegs' thick-pelted feet.
"I'm tired now," she informed the Twolegs, pawing at the older of them to get his attention.
The female Twolegs picked her up again, but instead of placing her back into the box, she turned around and began carrying her the other way.
"Wait, where are we going?" Corbin heard his sister asking. "I want to go back."
Corbin reared up, setting his paws against the glass, watching his sister's tail - the only part he could see - as she was carried away. He could hear her calling their names in worry and he kept watching as she disappeared around the corner, then looked over at his siblings. Aoelian was quiet, now, a look of upset on her small delicate features. Corbin's eyes met Hamlet's. The gray kitten's ears laid back and his tail drooped.
"Good riddance," Hamlet said grumpily before turning and heading back to his spot.
"Yeah," Corbin agreed. He padded over to Nefret's favorite napping spot and rested his head on it, careful not to disturb it. Her scent was still strong. He hoped she was going somewhere fun.
____________[FAMILY]
Mother: Mittens
Brothers: Mouse, Hamlet
Sisters: Nefret, Aeolian
____________[PASSWORD]
Aurora