|
Post by Tangle-chan on May 29, 2010 22:12:07 GMT -5
[Tangleheart] [Is somewhat shy and sometimes even isn't open to others]
[Female] [RiverClan] [15 moons] [Warrior]
____________[LOOKS]
[As you see in my avatar pic,] Tangleheart has light blue eyes, and she is a silver tabby cat. She develops her eyes from her father, only his were darker, and her fur color from her mother. (Some cats used to say she was a mixture of both of her parents, and Tangleheart would say the same.) Her nose is like a VERY light black, but it is not fully gray. [And lastly,] Tangle's muzzle color is like a whitish silver, more like white.
____________[PERSONALITY]
When Tangleheart was a kit, she was never shy, and she got along with all of the other RiverClan kits. (She mostly got along well with her sister, Mosstalon.) Tangleheart loves to swim in water, and its mostly what she does nowadays, because she's shy now, and she can never get a mate. She has no kits, and thinking about having kits brings back sad memories, but no one in RiverClan knows how or why.
____________[HISTORY]
[The war]
"The war looked bleak. Blood splattered onto Tanglepaw's pelt as she searched for her sister, Mosspaw. She soon found her sister grabeled in combat with a ShadowClan apprintence and Badgerpaw. Blood was smeared and spotted on Mosspaw's face, as the brown tabby she-cat raked her claws through the apprentice's flank. The crimson liquid sprayed onto Tanglepaw's and Badgerpaw's chests. The apprentice fled through the reeds as a terrible yowl perced the river bank. Mosspaw turned to the sound, and her eyes widen as she reprised her mother's voice. Tanglepaw turned slowly, to see Mosspaw already turning and killing the ShadowClan murderer. Her father sat henched over, moruning his love. Tanglepaw slowly relizw her mother lay dead. A drizzle rained upon the cats. Lightning cracked as it hit their father's major oragin. The centeral nervous system as his brain was fried. The sibblings store in amazement as tears stung their eyes. Mosspaw and Tanglepaw both relized that they were now orphans and might be seperated from each other. Forever."
____________[IC]
Tangleheart peared around RiverClan camp with her ice blue eyes. She made contact with her blue eyes to noone but the Clan's leaders (Cranfeather and Riverstar). Will I ever become outcoming? She thought to herself. For her, it was very hard for her, and she let her gray tail drag against the gravel and sat down next to her den as she watched the others....... silently. ____________[FAMILY]
Mother: Oceansplit (dead) Father: Moonstripe (dead) Sister: Mosstalon (separated from Tangleheart)
____________[PASSWORD] AURORA
|
|
|
Post by W.in.DY. on May 30, 2010 16:01:17 GMT -5
I'm just saying, you're supposed to list her family, and for IC, that's the interaction with your character. EX. Tangleheart glanced around camp with her blue eyes.
It needs to be much longer than that, but it's just an example. And, what you put in family, hun, would be considered history.
|
|
|
Post by Tangle-chan on May 30, 2010 18:15:55 GMT -5
Ok. Thanx for the tip.
|
|
|
Post by it's FiSHY, scaredy-cat. on Jun 2, 2010 14:10:21 GMT -5
Hi there, Tangleheart! :3 Welcome to ITM~
I saw that you had some layout issues there. As it's your first time here, you may not be familiar with BBCode yet, so I hope you don't mind me tinkering around with your bio a bit to restore it to the way it's supposed to be.
I tried to keep as many things as you had there as possible.
And as response to IC...
I know Windy already explained this, but basically it is short for 'in character'. Check out the 'Accepted Bios' board for examples.
Hope I helped, Fishy
|
|
|
Post by Tangle-chan on Jun 2, 2010 16:43:04 GMT -5
Thanks Fishy! That explains so much!
Thanks for helpin' me out, Tangleheart
|
|
|
Post by Eagleh on Jul 19, 2010 10:57:51 GMT -5
Hi Tangle, I'm glad to see that you've finally finished your bio, but there's a couple things.
First, we have a word count requirement for appearence, history and personality, which is 100 words for each section. Unfortunately you're a bit under on appearance and personality.
Secondly, your history. I understand that you wanted to be creative, however, the only problem with it is that we haven't had a large war on ITM that's been recent enough to allow for it.
So just fix those up and you'll be accepted (: [/blockquote]
|
|
|
Post by Tangle-chan on Aug 2, 2010 20:08:35 GMT -5
oh ok ill get to that when i can
|
|