hey there [DELILAH] //[ebonyshard]

[Eagleh]

ebonypaw!!

I've felt the hate rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can't see
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed

[/color][/font]He was tired. More tired than he had ever been before. It was the weariness looming over him that pushed him down. It made walking unbearable. It made all the pain inside of him amplify. It made every waking moment a torture. Every time he saw Goldshard, he winced and looked away. They didn't get on anymore. No, it had become awkward. His silence, her confusion, their frusteration. That night she had jumped on him and he had flipped them over- but he couldn't think about that anymore. He was almost a warrior, and there was nothing between them. But without her with him, living was hard. It was painful, and he just wished he could undo what had been done. Ebonypaw just wished that she could forgive him. That's all he wanted.

The tom was sitting in a sandy part of the clearing, looking wistfully at the morning sky. The sun had just risen, and it was beginning to illuminate the forest with its brilliant light. It was a moment that should have been joyful. A new day, a new beginning. But Goldshard would never forgive him as quickly as that. It didn't matter how many days would pass- there would be no new beginnings for them. He winced, turning away from the sun. It hurt him now- he spent most of time out a night, where Goldshard couldn't haunt him. In the dark, where he was all by himself. But he still had those thoughts, those fantasies. He still hoped that perhaps Goldshard would come to him and wind her body around his. There would be no need for words, just unspoken apologies. Then they would nuzzle each other before he would trap her down, the physical contact so stimulating.

But that was so improbable. He was still just a young apprentice, pining after an older warrior. Still, Ebonypaw felt like there was something important between them. When they had first met, there had been that unspoken connection. Ebonypaw could still remember her expression when he had said there was no one worth talking to. There was that pain, the pain that still hurt him today. He wished he could put it all behind him and move on, but he couldn't. Whenever he close his eyes, he thought of the pain in her face and the way his throat had tightened when he had called her name. I think you're beautiful. But of course, she hadn't remembered. Would she remember if he reminded her? Ebonypaw wondered if she had found some other tom now, a strong and bold warrior.

The large black tom began to groom himself, letting the morning mist wash over him. He liked to come out here to cleanse. When everyone was moving around in the middle of the day, he felt like he couldn't breathe. So he slept in the day and came out at night. He would hunt and then come back, ready for the morning. Ready for a new day, without a new beginning.

There were no second chances for him.

I wander out where you can't see
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed[/font][/blockquote][/size]

[whitefoot]

goldshard


The sky was hued with wings of color as the sun began to creep over the horizon; wings of pink and purple, of orange and flaming red. A few warriors of StarClan still sparkled in the darker part of the sky, but they were rapidly fading as night changed to morn. A few birds chattered and chirped in the distance as the fireflies, the lanterns of the night, turned off their lights to the fading song of the crickets. The noises of the night laced together with the morning song, but the nocturnal sounds were fading rapidly as darkness gave way to light.

At the entrance to the camp clearing, Goldshard strolled casually into camp, two mice and a bedraggled pigeon hanging limply from her jaws. She followed a snow-free trail that the rest of her Clan had trampled out throughout the Leafbare, stopping at the small freshkill pile to drop off her catch. Amber eyes tired but satisfied, she picked out the fattest piece of prey on the pile; an especially furry squirrel. She clasped it in her jaws and settled down behind a snow-capped rock to eat her morning meal.

As she gingerly picked out the tufts of hair so she could eat without choking on bits of fur, the golden tabby noticed a black apprentice staring up at the sunset in the more sandy area of the clearing. Ebonypaw, Goldshard thought with a twinge of unhappiness. On her morning hunt, she'd all but forgotten about the young tom, who she had a crush on.

"Had. Past tense, Goldshard. Had."

[/color] she told herself in a murmur, remembering how he had almost taken her, force-bred her. She shuddered frightfully. But, even as disgusting and frightening as that was to her, that wasn't why she was angry with him.

"No one worth talking to."

Those were his exact words; the hot, poisonous words that had burned and singed and smoked their way into Goldshard's memories. Gooldshard cringed as the memory was brought back up yet again. That stinging comment had been voiced more than once, and that was why she was angered. Once before he admitted he had some feelings for her, and once after. Well, since there wasn't anyone worth talking to, Goldshard supposed he wouldn't care if she ignored him from now on. Letting out a loud spit of frustration, the graceful golden tabby averted her gaze by turning her head back to her squirrel, which she took a ginormick bite out of without even bothering to take out anymore of the fur.

But he looked so sad, over there, staring up at the beautiful sunset, all alone... So sad, so lonesome, so depressed. She couldn't see his expression, but she imagined it to be thoughtful, absorbed by his thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts about what? Certainly not her or anything about hem. Probably about how he was to be made a warrior soon. Then it wouldn't be so wrong, The thought popped up automatically, and Goldshard was surprised. What wouldn't be so wrong? They had nothing; no tied, no friendship. Not anymore. He'd snapped that bond like it was merely a thread of rabbit hide.

As she wondered what he was feeling at that moment, Goldshard thought it was a wonder he could feel anything, but the thought had less spite to them as her amber gace flickered from the squirrel back to Ebonypaw's back. She would not go over there to him. Not again. She'd done that once before, and she would not be cut verbally again. Never again.[/blockquote][/size]

[Eagleh]

ebonypaw!!

I've felt the hate rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can't see
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed

[/color][/font]
Ebonypaw was still gazing wistfully at the sunrise when he heard footsteps near him. The tom turned slightly, narrowing his eyes. His surprise was echoed in his golden optics as he saw who it was. "Goldshard," the word escape him, barely audible, as he saw her. His sense all turned on high alert and he wished he could slink away somewhere. Thinks had been awkward between them ever since that night where he had almost mated with her. Even that conversation in the woods after had been bland and full of nothing but pain. They had been like an average warrior and apprentice. There were no feelings between them then, just white-washed emotion that took over his senses. But now they were so close again, and Ebonypaw was determined not to let her slip.

"Goldshard," he repeated, tasting her name on his tongue. When he closed his eyes, Ebonypaw could still see that scene. Him holding her down, eyes glowing with passion. It was horrible. He much preferred the one where she slinked in against him and willingly got under him. But that wasn't going to happen. He was just an apprentice, and she was a beautiful warrior with likely a dozen other suitors. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry," he murmured.

I wander out where you can't see
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed[/font]

OOC sorry epic fail >>[/blockquote][/size]

[whitefoot]

goldshard


Goldshard whipped her head up from her squirrel to glare upwards. That voice. So familiar, so painful, it had to be him. Ebonypaw. The pretty golden tabby's honey eyes blazed like fire, although her tone was strangely soft. "Sorry for what, Ebonypaw?" Suddenly, her timbre went from silky soft to rough and accusing as she spat ragefully, "For being a fox-hearted piece of badger-dung to me or for nearly raping me?"

The golden tabby's tail twitched irritably as she awaited an answer from the black apprentice. He'd better make his answer good. Although.... no answer would probably convince Goldshard to love him or care for him as much as she did before.

ooc| blergh.