Post by Silver on Aug 22, 2009 21:14:50 GMT -5
(Be aware that there is a whole back story to this, which I just do not feel like writing. Wanted to get this down while its fresh in my head... and, yay for crap story <3)
With a final yank, I tugged the large brown leather bag shut, flicking it over my shoulder. Scanning the room, a satisfied smile pulled on my lips. It was almost bare, besides a bed in the corner, a dresser, and an empty desk protruding from the wall. Most of my possessions had been moved to the Guard's quarters, and the chaos that had remained on the floor was now either tucked in my bag or cleared out. My sword was sitting neatly in its sheath, while my shield was lightly strapped to my back. I was ready for a new life in the Royal Command once I returned from Lora's Cave. Excitement flushed through me at the thought, and I gripped the bag tighter. As if to remind me of the time, a cloud drifted across the sky, revealing a rising sun. I had to hurry if I was to get to the resting post on the way to Lora's Cave before sundown. Turning, I opened the simple wooden door.
The hall was dark and quiet, and the door clicked softly as I closed it behind me. There was no one awake this early, except the cooks. I had to strain to hear them, shuffling about in the kitchen below. Even now the faint smells of fresh bread wafted up the corridor, tempting me to eat before I left for my inauguration test. However, I resisted the sweet scents, instead treading softly away. It was an odd feeling to know I would not be returning to the squire's cabins tonight. No, tonight I would join the knights in the Palace, feasting with the king and sleeping in the softest, richest beds gold could buy. Confident, I strode around the corner, standing tall.
I was shocked by the face on the other side. Diana stood there, one hand raised, poised to push back her long brown hair. For what felt like an eternity, but could only have been a few seconds, we stared at each others surprised expressions. Then, her wary blue gaze slid away from my face, over my shoulder to my backpack and sword. Her gaze lingered hatefully there before she turned her eyes to me. Anyone else would have flinched at the sight of the pure rage and disgust there. The hand that she still held raised suddenly curled into a fist, swinging toward my face. I barely had enough time to duck so her fist did not strike my face. Still, she clipped the side of my head, making me stagger back. I heard her spit at me and storm down the hall before I recovered enough from the shock to scramble after her. Her petite, aggravated form vanished around the corner wordlessly. Angrily, I sagged against the wall, my head starting to throb. After standing in the silent hall for a while, I sighed and made my way toward the castle gates, massaging my forehead tiredly.
I threw up my shield up just in time to avoid being struck by her staff. Crack! The wooden shield, already battered and beaten, snapped at the force of the blow. Splinters flew while the larger pieces clattered to the floor. Ship! This must be divine punishment for something, I thought darkly, scrambling for my magic. I had just enough time to tap into the well of energy inside me before she swung again, her weapon colliding with my hastily formed magic sphere. The orb atop her staff crackled with energy as the opposing magic met. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of my face with the effort of maintaining the magic shield, pushing against her stronger magic. Without warning, the witch sprung back, momentarily setting me off balance, making my shield slip. That second was all she needed. With a gleeful cry, she lunged forward and whirled her staff, connecting with my side. Charged with magic, the blow flung me across the room like a rag doll. With a sickening thud, flesh met the stone wall, and pain exploded from my head, my sides, everywhere. I struggling to sit up, to protect myself, but my breath caught in my throat, paralyzing me. Desperately, I dug for my magic, but only found emptiness. I had used up all my reserves through out the battle. Despair welled up to fill the leftover hole as I watched her slim form stalk toward me.
"Res..." Not long ago, Ruwen had sounded human. Now, it held the sharp, cold tone of the ice that had consumed her soul, the tinge of bitter madness within the venom of her words. Once, Ruwen had been a beautiful human woman, the head healer in the Archni Castles. Now, as she slowly glided toward me, all I could see was the ice demon that had consumed her, the aura of death surrounding her. She paused, a few feet away, her gaze downward. With pale, shaking hands, she pulled back the hood that had hidden her face. Her hair, once a rich, golden blond, now tumbled down around her shoulders, a stunning silver color that reminded me of liquid mercury. She smiled, and her pointed teeth were an unnatural, stunning white. Her face, once smooth and gentle, now held sharp angles that distorted her pretty features. I dared not look into her eyes, and kept my gaze low, staring at my hands. I had not realized my palms were scraped and bloody from gripping my sword so tightly. "Dear Res..." she cooed, her voice echoing around the empty cave. A shiver worked its way up my spine, and my whole body began to tingle. Once, I had lusted for her to call me like that, full of wanting, seducing. Now, it just sent fear through me like a knife. "Res, why do you not look at me? Are you afraid to see what you made me?" she hissed. Startled, I looked up, and she caught my gaze. Her eyes were the only thing that hadn't change- a bright, clear blue, both captivating and intimidating. "I did nothing, Ruwen. You brought this upon yourself." The mere effort of speaking a simple sentence left me out of breath, struggling for air in that freezing cavern. Angrily, she stepped forward, but faltered, stumbling. For the first time, I noticed that she had a slight limp, blood starting to stain her silver cloak. I peered closer at my opponent. I had not heard her heavy, harsh breaths above my own pounding heart, clamoring in my ears, had not noticed the wounds she wore, similar to my own. And here I thought that she had been invincible. She shook herself, scattering scarlet drops. "No." She stepped forward again, her usual grace and calm returning. "No. You are to blame for the monster I am, and you shall pay accordingly for your crime." She held my gaze, her eyes like burning diamonds. I tried once again to move, but one look from her made me freeze, trapped, like a stunned animal.
Ruwen slowly extended her arm, her staff gripped lightly in her long fingers. The sleeve of her cloak slipped down, revealing the strange tattoos and scars that decorated her arm. Right on her shoulder, a tattoo of the northern star glowed with a blinding white light. The symbol of the ice demon. "You shall pay... for ruining my life... with your own," she cackled, and the orb suddenly lit, filling the cavern with ghostly light. I held her gaze for a moment longer, before turning away. The pain, the anger... it was too much. I could feel the air sizzle with magic, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the blow. Memories danced through my mind, all the way back to before brother had left, back before this whole mess began. I sucked in a breath, knowing very well it would probably be my last. Magic clogged my senses, choking me. She's going to kill herself if she releases this! But it continued to grow, until I felt I could reach out and physically grab it. "I'm sorry..." this was but a whisper, and it was then that I heard something. Footsteps, hard, fast, coming closer. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, expecting her to ram me through with a solid mass of magic. But the searing cold never came. "NO!" Ruwen cried, her voice shrill. I opened my eye a crack in time to see a figure lunging in front of me protectively, and a jet of magic collide into it. I felt pain race through me a second before everything collapsed on itself, and darkness consumed me.
I limped into the conference room, Karo holding the door open. I nodded to him, before turning to the room. My first reaction was surprise, followed by strong curiosity. Will, Quin,
Daren, and Eric were there as well as Timan, Yani, Peter, and Aler. It was not common to have the both the Archni Patrol and the Seren Guard together in one spot. It was dead silent as I settled myself into a chair, wincing slightly. It had been weeks since the boys had rescued me from Ruwen, and I was still bitterly sore. It would be another month or so before I could finally get around without the crutches. Finally, I looked around, pausing to look each man in the eyes. Like usual, their expression was carefully blank, but something felt off. I gently sent out my probe, and was shocked to find each man's thoughts were heavily shielded. Either they didn't want me to know something big was going on right away, or they were stealing themselves for my reaction. One way or another, it unsettled me. "Whats going on guys? Why such the formal meeting?" I asked. Karo, who had seated himself at the other end of the table, laughed. It seemed empty, even to me. "That's Res for you. Right to the point." I frowned, once again scanning the men's faces for a sign. Nothing.
"And why I shouldn't I? Why am I here?" I snapped. Karo's smile immediately vanished, and he glanced Yani. My gaze was instantly placed upon him. He didn't fidget under my hard gaze, like the most of the less experienced commanders did. Yani nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "I figured you had healed enough to handle a little secret. The boys and I decided we should all be here when you hear," his voice was a deep rumble, the kind of deep richness that made the ladies swoon. "Secret?" I repeated, suspicious. Yani nodded, but it was Daren who spoke up next. "You are aware of how you got in your current state, correct?" he asked. Unlike Yani, Daren's voice did not rumble, but instead surrounded you, like he was everywhere at once. I nodded. The nurses had explained to me how lucky I was to still be alive. Apparently, one of the patrol sent to find me had deflected some of Ruwen's magic. It still had enough power to leave me in critical condition for over a month, but not enough to kill me completely. I was utterly lucky that the man had arrived when he did, otherwise... well, I wouldn't be here. "Hard to forget. Thanks for the help, guys. Really. I owe you." Something about what I said seemed to disturb some of the others. In the back, I could see Quin and Will exchanging glances.
"That's what we brought you here for, actually." Yani again. "None of the boys were actually in the cavern until much later." He stopped, obviously letting this information settle. Someone- outside the Guard and the Patrol- had been in the cavern when Ruwen tried to kill me. So who saved me then? My expression must have been puzzled, because Eric voiced my thoughts. "We know what you're thinking. If none of us was there in the cave with you, then why are you still alive?" I nodded, my brain churning in circles. I thought of all the people that would be near Lora's Cave when I encountered Ruwen, and more importantly, who would sacrifice themselves for me. My thoughts came up empty. Truthfully, I was not that popular with anyone outside the Guard. They say me as moody, arrogant, and anti-social. The Guard had seen a man full of potential. They had seen what I could be. Yani cleared his throat, returning my gaze and thoughts to him. "I'd like to remind you, Res, that Ruwen is a powerful mage. She used every last ounce of her magic, draining what little life force she had left, sacrificing herself to try and kill you. No one could have survived her attack head-on. No one." Why was Yani telling me this? I was well aware that I owed my life to whoever jumped in front of me. I knew that they had died to save me. I glanced around, but most of the men were either looking down at the table or met my questioning look, their emotions carefully masked. I returned my attention to Yani. He took a deep breath, as if preparing for a long speech. "You know Diana, Res. If I recall, you two used to be lovers before Ruwen caught your fancy. She's been lurking around the palace lately, but no one really knew what she wanted. None of us knew her. Anyway, right before we took off to go find you, she came up out of nowhere and demanded to know where we were going. We told her, of course, hoping to make her leave, since she has practically sworn to hate you for all eternity," he added this last part almost breezily, shrugging. I kept my expression carefully calm. Diana and I had been together since Final Prep school, up into our adult-hood. Though we had never been the most harmonic lovers, we felt we would be able to stay together, and that no matter how much it seemed it was just not meant to be, we would never settle for anyone else. That is, we thought so, until Ruwen came along. I had been young and foolish to think that I would be stuck with Diana. Ruwen was beautiful, far more beautiful than any mortal man deserved. She had captivated me, distracting me from my loyalties to Diana. Diana had already been upset with me, what with one of our many petty fights, so when she caught me and Ruwen in bed together, we both knew she would never forgive me. She had used every last reserve of bitterness and anger I never knew she possessed to get back at me, to the point where she practically killed me in a mock swordfight. She would truly have enjoyed my murder. Honestly, I felt that all that was keeping her back was her common sense and fear of prison. Yani was right-- it was rather odd that she showed an interest in aiding anything that involved me in the slightest, especially since her parting gift a few days ago was a beautiful purple and black bruise. Aiding in my rescue made no sense. Yani glanced at Aler, who picked up the story from there.
"She was really quiet-like the whole time, hangin' 'bout in the back. I say we was maybe halfway there when she suddenly starts muttered about this 'horrible feeling' she was getting. And than she just ran off. And let me tell you, that woman was fast," Aler drawled. For a moment, I was flung back in time, to before I had left the Keep, watching her stalk around the corner. Memories of our childhood races, her smile flashing for the briefest seconds back in Secondary school, her temper flaring and dropping again in a matter of minutes. Yeah. I know she's quick. The pieces started to fall into place, but I couldn't, wouldn't believe it. I stared at Yani, who merely stared back. "When we found her... well, we found the both of you at the same time. She had fourth degree burns, maybe worse, dire magical damage, couple of broken bones. We're guessing that her body absorbed more magic than it could handle, at which point the remaining magic hit you. Since you're better adapted to magical circumstances and she reduced the amount of power in the blow, you survived. Miracle of miracles, she actually managed to cling to some life until we got to the Keep. But after that... well, I don't have to tell you. It could have been anyone, though. Anyone could have gone ahead and taken the blow." Daren finished.
I sat completely still, motionlessly staring down at the table. Diana. My dear Diana. My love, who died for me even though I had abandoned and betrayed her. Tears stung my eyes as I watched my hands shake. Diana. Dear God, my Diana. Daren's last few words echoed in my head, and I was surprised by the anger that rose in me like a beast. "Of course it could have been anyone. It could have been one of you, you who had magic experience, weapons, shield... who had a chance of surviving! It could have been anyone, but it was Diana who died dammit!!" I knew I was screaming. I was aware I was out of control. I didn't give a f word. "Why didn't one of you try and stop her?! Why didn't someone go after her?" I roared. Karo stood up and put his hands on my shoulders, trying to force me to sit back down. I didn't even notice my chair topple over.
"Res, relax. We don't want to send you to the hospital wing again," he said, squeezing. I whirled on him, slapping his hands away. "Don't f wording tell me to calm down! Tell me why she died instead of you bastards!" I felt tears sting the back of my eyes, and my whole body shook. Without thinking, I balled my fists, swinging at Karo. Surprised, he stumbled back, and I could hear the others at the table getting up, prepared for a fight. "I'll tell you why, Res. I'll tell you why we left her to go in alone." I whirled, following the others gazes to Quin. Quin, the quiet one. Quin, who had been Diana's only friend while her other companions were away, while she had her heartbroken. By me. "I'll tell you why," he whispered, evenly meeting my cold gaze. He did not flinch, unlike the others when I turned to them. "We let her go in there, alone, unarmed, without support, simply because Res, she was in the way. She was the only thing that kept you from joining the Guard full-time, the only thing that could possibly have kept you from joining the Keep. She was a distraction, and the Patrol needed you to be hard, cruel, willing to kill... to become one of us. We didn't need her poking her nose in our affairs." Quin continued to stare at me, while the others were frozen in their spots. I glared around the room, even to Karo, he was crouched in the corner, clutching a bloody nose. And in my heart, as I searched their faces, I knew it was true. I knew Quin told the truth. They didn't want her. They needed me. She could be sacrificed- I couldn't. I straightened, trying to control my shaking. My eyes burned with tears, with anger, with pain at loosing the woman I only now realized I could not live without. Is this how she felt, that night so long ago? I knew I looked ready to kill, my gaze cold. I didn't care.
"You're right, Quin. I see that. Thank you for telling me," my voice was tight. Strained. Quin said nothing, just walked past the others, past me, and out the door, expressionless, his face tight and nails digging into his palm. I watched him walked out, walk away, and knew what I had to do.
"Thank you boys. Really. You treated me extremely well. But I think its time I retired. I'll never fully recover from these wounds- I wouldn't be much use to you anymore, anyway. Give the Emperor my highest regards." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them move, trying to stop me. But I walked out that door, walked out of the castle, walked until I couldn't move anymore, collapsing upon the ground, my wounds flaring in pain. Then I settled down, and slept.
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I was aware that I was dreaming again. I had been dreaming almost every night since I returned to the Keep. I blamed it on the drugs that the nurses had been pumping me with, scrambling to keep me alive. Some had been bitter nightmares of that last battle, others bizarre dreams with no meaning. But this one... felt different. It was like I was floating, only I could feel the solid ground beneath my feet. Which is probably the only thing that could different the ground from the air. Everything was just a solid mass of white that stretch out for eternity. God only knows how long I'd been walking, walking, looking for something different in the blank field of white. But it was all the same. Eventually, I just... stopped. Didn't move, didn't breath, just froze. For a moment, I was absolutely still. And suddenly, from out of nowhere, pain erupted, flaring up my sides. It consumed me, making me crumple to the ground in agony. There was no sense of time in this place- It could have been hours, or seconds that I lay on the ground that was not ground, writhing in pain, before "it" came. It felt... real, warm, like a person, but I could see nothing but the whiteness through the tears. A gentle hand stroked my shoulder, and the pain faded to a gentle throb that pulsed through my body. I didn't move, afraid the intense pain would return. I could feel "it," crouching beside me. It leaned forward, and gently brushed my lips with its own. Now, even the throbbing subsided, and I was filled with a cool, gentle feeling of bliss. "Everything will be alright. I promise that it will be fine. I will always be here... watching you. Helping you. Your own... guardian angel." The voice was familiar, friendly, soothing. I closed my eyes, and let myself drift away, drift back into the conscious world.
I awoke in a bed that I did not fall asleep in. Looking around, I saw an old woman sitting by a fire. "You should be sleeping, young man," she said without looking up. For a moment, I was going to protest, to ask her why I was here, but something stopped me. Standing behind the old woman was a wispy figure, with regal silver wings. Diana smiled at me, and her voice echoed in my head. I will always be here... watching you. Helping you. Your own... guardian angel. I leaned back with a sigh, closing my eyes again. Anyone could have died that day Diana. Thank you... for forgiving me. I promise... I will make it up to you.
Do not worry, love. It could have been anyone braving Ruwen. It could have been anyone that fell to her spell. But it was you, and now I can always watch you live your life. Make it up to me... by continuing to live. Make my sacrifice... worth while.
With a final yank, I tugged the large brown leather bag shut, flicking it over my shoulder. Scanning the room, a satisfied smile pulled on my lips. It was almost bare, besides a bed in the corner, a dresser, and an empty desk protruding from the wall. Most of my possessions had been moved to the Guard's quarters, and the chaos that had remained on the floor was now either tucked in my bag or cleared out. My sword was sitting neatly in its sheath, while my shield was lightly strapped to my back. I was ready for a new life in the Royal Command once I returned from Lora's Cave. Excitement flushed through me at the thought, and I gripped the bag tighter. As if to remind me of the time, a cloud drifted across the sky, revealing a rising sun. I had to hurry if I was to get to the resting post on the way to Lora's Cave before sundown. Turning, I opened the simple wooden door.
The hall was dark and quiet, and the door clicked softly as I closed it behind me. There was no one awake this early, except the cooks. I had to strain to hear them, shuffling about in the kitchen below. Even now the faint smells of fresh bread wafted up the corridor, tempting me to eat before I left for my inauguration test. However, I resisted the sweet scents, instead treading softly away. It was an odd feeling to know I would not be returning to the squire's cabins tonight. No, tonight I would join the knights in the Palace, feasting with the king and sleeping in the softest, richest beds gold could buy. Confident, I strode around the corner, standing tall.
I was shocked by the face on the other side. Diana stood there, one hand raised, poised to push back her long brown hair. For what felt like an eternity, but could only have been a few seconds, we stared at each others surprised expressions. Then, her wary blue gaze slid away from my face, over my shoulder to my backpack and sword. Her gaze lingered hatefully there before she turned her eyes to me. Anyone else would have flinched at the sight of the pure rage and disgust there. The hand that she still held raised suddenly curled into a fist, swinging toward my face. I barely had enough time to duck so her fist did not strike my face. Still, she clipped the side of my head, making me stagger back. I heard her spit at me and storm down the hall before I recovered enough from the shock to scramble after her. Her petite, aggravated form vanished around the corner wordlessly. Angrily, I sagged against the wall, my head starting to throb. After standing in the silent hall for a while, I sighed and made my way toward the castle gates, massaging my forehead tiredly.
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I threw up my shield up just in time to avoid being struck by her staff. Crack! The wooden shield, already battered and beaten, snapped at the force of the blow. Splinters flew while the larger pieces clattered to the floor. Ship! This must be divine punishment for something, I thought darkly, scrambling for my magic. I had just enough time to tap into the well of energy inside me before she swung again, her weapon colliding with my hastily formed magic sphere. The orb atop her staff crackled with energy as the opposing magic met. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of my face with the effort of maintaining the magic shield, pushing against her stronger magic. Without warning, the witch sprung back, momentarily setting me off balance, making my shield slip. That second was all she needed. With a gleeful cry, she lunged forward and whirled her staff, connecting with my side. Charged with magic, the blow flung me across the room like a rag doll. With a sickening thud, flesh met the stone wall, and pain exploded from my head, my sides, everywhere. I struggling to sit up, to protect myself, but my breath caught in my throat, paralyzing me. Desperately, I dug for my magic, but only found emptiness. I had used up all my reserves through out the battle. Despair welled up to fill the leftover hole as I watched her slim form stalk toward me.
"Res..." Not long ago, Ruwen had sounded human. Now, it held the sharp, cold tone of the ice that had consumed her soul, the tinge of bitter madness within the venom of her words. Once, Ruwen had been a beautiful human woman, the head healer in the Archni Castles. Now, as she slowly glided toward me, all I could see was the ice demon that had consumed her, the aura of death surrounding her. She paused, a few feet away, her gaze downward. With pale, shaking hands, she pulled back the hood that had hidden her face. Her hair, once a rich, golden blond, now tumbled down around her shoulders, a stunning silver color that reminded me of liquid mercury. She smiled, and her pointed teeth were an unnatural, stunning white. Her face, once smooth and gentle, now held sharp angles that distorted her pretty features. I dared not look into her eyes, and kept my gaze low, staring at my hands. I had not realized my palms were scraped and bloody from gripping my sword so tightly. "Dear Res..." she cooed, her voice echoing around the empty cave. A shiver worked its way up my spine, and my whole body began to tingle. Once, I had lusted for her to call me like that, full of wanting, seducing. Now, it just sent fear through me like a knife. "Res, why do you not look at me? Are you afraid to see what you made me?" she hissed. Startled, I looked up, and she caught my gaze. Her eyes were the only thing that hadn't change- a bright, clear blue, both captivating and intimidating. "I did nothing, Ruwen. You brought this upon yourself." The mere effort of speaking a simple sentence left me out of breath, struggling for air in that freezing cavern. Angrily, she stepped forward, but faltered, stumbling. For the first time, I noticed that she had a slight limp, blood starting to stain her silver cloak. I peered closer at my opponent. I had not heard her heavy, harsh breaths above my own pounding heart, clamoring in my ears, had not noticed the wounds she wore, similar to my own. And here I thought that she had been invincible. She shook herself, scattering scarlet drops. "No." She stepped forward again, her usual grace and calm returning. "No. You are to blame for the monster I am, and you shall pay accordingly for your crime." She held my gaze, her eyes like burning diamonds. I tried once again to move, but one look from her made me freeze, trapped, like a stunned animal.
Ruwen slowly extended her arm, her staff gripped lightly in her long fingers. The sleeve of her cloak slipped down, revealing the strange tattoos and scars that decorated her arm. Right on her shoulder, a tattoo of the northern star glowed with a blinding white light. The symbol of the ice demon. "You shall pay... for ruining my life... with your own," she cackled, and the orb suddenly lit, filling the cavern with ghostly light. I held her gaze for a moment longer, before turning away. The pain, the anger... it was too much. I could feel the air sizzle with magic, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the blow. Memories danced through my mind, all the way back to before brother had left, back before this whole mess began. I sucked in a breath, knowing very well it would probably be my last. Magic clogged my senses, choking me. She's going to kill herself if she releases this! But it continued to grow, until I felt I could reach out and physically grab it. "I'm sorry..." this was but a whisper, and it was then that I heard something. Footsteps, hard, fast, coming closer. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, expecting her to ram me through with a solid mass of magic. But the searing cold never came. "NO!" Ruwen cried, her voice shrill. I opened my eye a crack in time to see a figure lunging in front of me protectively, and a jet of magic collide into it. I felt pain race through me a second before everything collapsed on itself, and darkness consumed me.
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I limped into the conference room, Karo holding the door open. I nodded to him, before turning to the room. My first reaction was surprise, followed by strong curiosity. Will, Quin,
Daren, and Eric were there as well as Timan, Yani, Peter, and Aler. It was not common to have the both the Archni Patrol and the Seren Guard together in one spot. It was dead silent as I settled myself into a chair, wincing slightly. It had been weeks since the boys had rescued me from Ruwen, and I was still bitterly sore. It would be another month or so before I could finally get around without the crutches. Finally, I looked around, pausing to look each man in the eyes. Like usual, their expression was carefully blank, but something felt off. I gently sent out my probe, and was shocked to find each man's thoughts were heavily shielded. Either they didn't want me to know something big was going on right away, or they were stealing themselves for my reaction. One way or another, it unsettled me. "Whats going on guys? Why such the formal meeting?" I asked. Karo, who had seated himself at the other end of the table, laughed. It seemed empty, even to me. "That's Res for you. Right to the point." I frowned, once again scanning the men's faces for a sign. Nothing.
"And why I shouldn't I? Why am I here?" I snapped. Karo's smile immediately vanished, and he glanced Yani. My gaze was instantly placed upon him. He didn't fidget under my hard gaze, like the most of the less experienced commanders did. Yani nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "I figured you had healed enough to handle a little secret. The boys and I decided we should all be here when you hear," his voice was a deep rumble, the kind of deep richness that made the ladies swoon. "Secret?" I repeated, suspicious. Yani nodded, but it was Daren who spoke up next. "You are aware of how you got in your current state, correct?" he asked. Unlike Yani, Daren's voice did not rumble, but instead surrounded you, like he was everywhere at once. I nodded. The nurses had explained to me how lucky I was to still be alive. Apparently, one of the patrol sent to find me had deflected some of Ruwen's magic. It still had enough power to leave me in critical condition for over a month, but not enough to kill me completely. I was utterly lucky that the man had arrived when he did, otherwise... well, I wouldn't be here. "Hard to forget. Thanks for the help, guys. Really. I owe you." Something about what I said seemed to disturb some of the others. In the back, I could see Quin and Will exchanging glances.
"That's what we brought you here for, actually." Yani again. "None of the boys were actually in the cavern until much later." He stopped, obviously letting this information settle. Someone- outside the Guard and the Patrol- had been in the cavern when Ruwen tried to kill me. So who saved me then? My expression must have been puzzled, because Eric voiced my thoughts. "We know what you're thinking. If none of us was there in the cave with you, then why are you still alive?" I nodded, my brain churning in circles. I thought of all the people that would be near Lora's Cave when I encountered Ruwen, and more importantly, who would sacrifice themselves for me. My thoughts came up empty. Truthfully, I was not that popular with anyone outside the Guard. They say me as moody, arrogant, and anti-social. The Guard had seen a man full of potential. They had seen what I could be. Yani cleared his throat, returning my gaze and thoughts to him. "I'd like to remind you, Res, that Ruwen is a powerful mage. She used every last ounce of her magic, draining what little life force she had left, sacrificing herself to try and kill you. No one could have survived her attack head-on. No one." Why was Yani telling me this? I was well aware that I owed my life to whoever jumped in front of me. I knew that they had died to save me. I glanced around, but most of the men were either looking down at the table or met my questioning look, their emotions carefully masked. I returned my attention to Yani. He took a deep breath, as if preparing for a long speech. "You know Diana, Res. If I recall, you two used to be lovers before Ruwen caught your fancy. She's been lurking around the palace lately, but no one really knew what she wanted. None of us knew her. Anyway, right before we took off to go find you, she came up out of nowhere and demanded to know where we were going. We told her, of course, hoping to make her leave, since she has practically sworn to hate you for all eternity," he added this last part almost breezily, shrugging. I kept my expression carefully calm. Diana and I had been together since Final Prep school, up into our adult-hood. Though we had never been the most harmonic lovers, we felt we would be able to stay together, and that no matter how much it seemed it was just not meant to be, we would never settle for anyone else. That is, we thought so, until Ruwen came along. I had been young and foolish to think that I would be stuck with Diana. Ruwen was beautiful, far more beautiful than any mortal man deserved. She had captivated me, distracting me from my loyalties to Diana. Diana had already been upset with me, what with one of our many petty fights, so when she caught me and Ruwen in bed together, we both knew she would never forgive me. She had used every last reserve of bitterness and anger I never knew she possessed to get back at me, to the point where she practically killed me in a mock swordfight. She would truly have enjoyed my murder. Honestly, I felt that all that was keeping her back was her common sense and fear of prison. Yani was right-- it was rather odd that she showed an interest in aiding anything that involved me in the slightest, especially since her parting gift a few days ago was a beautiful purple and black bruise. Aiding in my rescue made no sense. Yani glanced at Aler, who picked up the story from there.
"She was really quiet-like the whole time, hangin' 'bout in the back. I say we was maybe halfway there when she suddenly starts muttered about this 'horrible feeling' she was getting. And than she just ran off. And let me tell you, that woman was fast," Aler drawled. For a moment, I was flung back in time, to before I had left the Keep, watching her stalk around the corner. Memories of our childhood races, her smile flashing for the briefest seconds back in Secondary school, her temper flaring and dropping again in a matter of minutes. Yeah. I know she's quick. The pieces started to fall into place, but I couldn't, wouldn't believe it. I stared at Yani, who merely stared back. "When we found her... well, we found the both of you at the same time. She had fourth degree burns, maybe worse, dire magical damage, couple of broken bones. We're guessing that her body absorbed more magic than it could handle, at which point the remaining magic hit you. Since you're better adapted to magical circumstances and she reduced the amount of power in the blow, you survived. Miracle of miracles, she actually managed to cling to some life until we got to the Keep. But after that... well, I don't have to tell you. It could have been anyone, though. Anyone could have gone ahead and taken the blow." Daren finished.
I sat completely still, motionlessly staring down at the table. Diana. My dear Diana. My love, who died for me even though I had abandoned and betrayed her. Tears stung my eyes as I watched my hands shake. Diana. Dear God, my Diana. Daren's last few words echoed in my head, and I was surprised by the anger that rose in me like a beast. "Of course it could have been anyone. It could have been one of you, you who had magic experience, weapons, shield... who had a chance of surviving! It could have been anyone, but it was Diana who died dammit!!" I knew I was screaming. I was aware I was out of control. I didn't give a f word. "Why didn't one of you try and stop her?! Why didn't someone go after her?" I roared. Karo stood up and put his hands on my shoulders, trying to force me to sit back down. I didn't even notice my chair topple over.
"Res, relax. We don't want to send you to the hospital wing again," he said, squeezing. I whirled on him, slapping his hands away. "Don't f wording tell me to calm down! Tell me why she died instead of you bastards!" I felt tears sting the back of my eyes, and my whole body shook. Without thinking, I balled my fists, swinging at Karo. Surprised, he stumbled back, and I could hear the others at the table getting up, prepared for a fight. "I'll tell you why, Res. I'll tell you why we left her to go in alone." I whirled, following the others gazes to Quin. Quin, the quiet one. Quin, who had been Diana's only friend while her other companions were away, while she had her heartbroken. By me. "I'll tell you why," he whispered, evenly meeting my cold gaze. He did not flinch, unlike the others when I turned to them. "We let her go in there, alone, unarmed, without support, simply because Res, she was in the way. She was the only thing that kept you from joining the Guard full-time, the only thing that could possibly have kept you from joining the Keep. She was a distraction, and the Patrol needed you to be hard, cruel, willing to kill... to become one of us. We didn't need her poking her nose in our affairs." Quin continued to stare at me, while the others were frozen in their spots. I glared around the room, even to Karo, he was crouched in the corner, clutching a bloody nose. And in my heart, as I searched their faces, I knew it was true. I knew Quin told the truth. They didn't want her. They needed me. She could be sacrificed- I couldn't. I straightened, trying to control my shaking. My eyes burned with tears, with anger, with pain at loosing the woman I only now realized I could not live without. Is this how she felt, that night so long ago? I knew I looked ready to kill, my gaze cold. I didn't care.
"You're right, Quin. I see that. Thank you for telling me," my voice was tight. Strained. Quin said nothing, just walked past the others, past me, and out the door, expressionless, his face tight and nails digging into his palm. I watched him walked out, walk away, and knew what I had to do.
"Thank you boys. Really. You treated me extremely well. But I think its time I retired. I'll never fully recover from these wounds- I wouldn't be much use to you anymore, anyway. Give the Emperor my highest regards." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them move, trying to stop me. But I walked out that door, walked out of the castle, walked until I couldn't move anymore, collapsing upon the ground, my wounds flaring in pain. Then I settled down, and slept.
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I was aware that I was dreaming again. I had been dreaming almost every night since I returned to the Keep. I blamed it on the drugs that the nurses had been pumping me with, scrambling to keep me alive. Some had been bitter nightmares of that last battle, others bizarre dreams with no meaning. But this one... felt different. It was like I was floating, only I could feel the solid ground beneath my feet. Which is probably the only thing that could different the ground from the air. Everything was just a solid mass of white that stretch out for eternity. God only knows how long I'd been walking, walking, looking for something different in the blank field of white. But it was all the same. Eventually, I just... stopped. Didn't move, didn't breath, just froze. For a moment, I was absolutely still. And suddenly, from out of nowhere, pain erupted, flaring up my sides. It consumed me, making me crumple to the ground in agony. There was no sense of time in this place- It could have been hours, or seconds that I lay on the ground that was not ground, writhing in pain, before "it" came. It felt... real, warm, like a person, but I could see nothing but the whiteness through the tears. A gentle hand stroked my shoulder, and the pain faded to a gentle throb that pulsed through my body. I didn't move, afraid the intense pain would return. I could feel "it," crouching beside me. It leaned forward, and gently brushed my lips with its own. Now, even the throbbing subsided, and I was filled with a cool, gentle feeling of bliss. "Everything will be alright. I promise that it will be fine. I will always be here... watching you. Helping you. Your own... guardian angel." The voice was familiar, friendly, soothing. I closed my eyes, and let myself drift away, drift back into the conscious world.
I awoke in a bed that I did not fall asleep in. Looking around, I saw an old woman sitting by a fire. "You should be sleeping, young man," she said without looking up. For a moment, I was going to protest, to ask her why I was here, but something stopped me. Standing behind the old woman was a wispy figure, with regal silver wings. Diana smiled at me, and her voice echoed in my head. I will always be here... watching you. Helping you. Your own... guardian angel. I leaned back with a sigh, closing my eyes again. Anyone could have died that day Diana. Thank you... for forgiving me. I promise... I will make it up to you.
Do not worry, love. It could have been anyone braving Ruwen. It could have been anyone that fell to her spell. But it was you, and now I can always watch you live your life. Make it up to me... by continuing to live. Make my sacrifice... worth while.
