V I P E R ~ !

[Eagleh]

click click goes the shutter

viperpaw

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any related snakes belonging to the family Viperidae, characterized by erectile, venom-conducting fangs.[/right]

tom
9 moons
riverclan
medicine cat apprentice

^{there are times when i believe this world wasn't
meant for beings like me. times when i just want
to fade away.}

Though Viperpaw may refer to himself as quite a handsome cat, it remains to be seen whether or not others would agree with him. He keeps his pelt meticulously clean, and he grooms himself every day. His figure is slender, and he’s rather like a she-cat in appearance. He would say that his form has character, but others might call him strange for his wide head. He’s grateful that his eyes are a deep goldenrod, because it prevents him from being called an albino cat. His ears are covered in scratches and blood, and one of his claws is missing on his right paw. Whether this is a birth defect or the result of abuse from an early age, it is unknown. His father is always putting Viperpaw down, calling him ugly and worthless. For this reason, Viperpaw isn’t always too sure of his appearance. He’s constantly fussing to make sure that he looks proper. It’s especially tough after a session of abuse, because he has to fix himself up and look presentable to the Clan. Viperpaw’s always had trouble with looking presentable.

Let’s talk about his head. Viperpaw has always been very shy about his head, and it seems like nothing will fix that. He doesn’t like it when other cats make fun of his head, and it happens often. You may be wondering what the problem with Viperpaw’s head is. Well, to put it bluntly, it’s wide. Not just average wide cheekbones wide. It’s bordering on deformed. Though some might say it gives the tom a distinct and pleasant appearance, Viperpaw disagrees. His head is wide at the top, though his chin is narrow enough. His muzzle is puffy. His ears stick out sideways from his head, and they’re extremely long. They’re tipped oddly, and they give him an aloof appearance. The pale pink insides of his ears are coated with smooth white fur. There are also blood marks on his ears from scratches. His eyes are slightly angled, and they’re a deep goldenrod in colour. They’re bordered by a slight pink line where the fur doesn’t grow. His muzzle is a very light pink, and there is less fur above it so he has kind of a rosy colouring on the bridge of his nose. His whiskers are white and very, very short. The fur on his head is short and white, and it is extremely smooth to the touch.

Viperpaw, being pretty self-conscious, probably wouldn’t put his body on display for others to gawk at. He’s very embarrassed about the disproportion. Though it isn’t quite as bad as his head, it still makes Viperpaw something to look at. His frame is lithe in general. His shoulders are strong and his muscles ripple under his taut pelt. His tail is an average length, and his head is attached to his body with a sturdy neck. The catch is that Viperpaw has abnormally large splayed paws. They’re wider than they should be, and when he stands still, they point outwards. Viperpaw is generally shy about his paws, and will do his best to hide them. They make running slower, but his leaps and bounds are better than his siblings at the moment. He’s good at walking on harder terrain, since his wide paws can handle it more easily. His forelegs are slim, and so are his back legs. His stomach ducks in slightly after his chest, but not drastic compared to the rest of Viperpaw. His lean body is covered in short white fur, which is soft and feathery- unless it bristles, which it does often, due to his father.

^{there's only one rules in this game of life-
don't die. don't think, don't breath. just
strive forwards.}

>>scared
>>sneaky
>>boastful
>>dedicated

xx
Viperpaw may act cruel and mean around other apprentices, but in truth, he’s extremely scared of his father. Viperpaw hates his father for what his father has done to him, but he doesn’t want his father to leave. He’s scared of what will happen if his father is no longer bound by Clan rules. Viperpaw is scared of the beatings, and he would do anything to avoid them. His life is lived in constant terror of his father, as he spends most of his time avoiding the brazen tom. He’s learned to slink around, trying to get out of the way of older cats. Though he tries to hide it, Viperpaw can’t always act brave all the time. He’s a great cat when he’s not scared, but he’s jealous of the stronger warruors. Viperpaw wishes that he had the courage to stand up to his father.

xx
Viperpaw is a pretty sneaky cat. He likes to slink around to pick up information on others. Don’t think that he has dark intentions or that he’s trying to do something awful to others. No, Viperpaw just likes to know what’s currently happening in the Clan. The white tom is too scared to ask, so he gets his information through other means. He dislikes the cats that criticize him for being sneaky. He gets angry because they don’t know what he’s been through. Viperpaw pretty much hates at everyone at some point in time, except for his sister Sleetpaw. Though he’s close with the rest of his siblings, they get on his nerves sometimes. He really hates it when cats insult him due to his personality. Viperpaw isn’t naturally a bad cat, but he’s too scared to get things done properly, so he slinks around instead and invokes other cat’s wrathes.

xx
Viperpaw isn’t really a bully. That’s a mean way of putting it. He simply acts like he’s better than the other apprentices. You may be wondering why, or you may think that’s awful. It’s untrue, to be sure. Viperpaw isn’t better than the other apprentices. But his father has scared him so much that Viperpaw needs to act like he’s the best before others think he’s weak. Viperpaw has learned that only the strong get what they want, so he’s trying to seem aggressive in front of the others. He often brags in a weedy sort of voice. It’s annoying, but some of the young kits get really enraptured in what Viperpaw is saying. He dislikes cats who argue with him, and he likes to act like he’s the most important. He knows he isn’t, but he tries to make himself feel better.

xx
Dedicated. From what you’ve read so far, you might not think that that describes Viperpaw at all. But it describes him better than you know. When Viperpaw becomes dedicated to certain things, he stays dedicated. When he loves something, it means the world to him. He would never let go of it. Viperpaw doesn’t have many things to hold onto in these trouble times, but he finds particular solace in his sister Sleetpaw. She’s the closest of his siblings, and he cares about her. Viperpaw doesn’t show it all the time, but she’s one of the things that keeps him going. The white tom knows that sometimes he can creep her out with his shifty ways, and it shames him. Viperpaw tries to protect her and other important things in his life, but it doesn’t work. It never seems to work. He isn’t strong enough, and it pains him to admit that.

^{i know i'm not so pretty to look at. i know
i'm rather scrawny. i know i can't hold my own
against my father.}

Irisdance and Goldenear were in love, so deeply in love. Everything seemed all right for them. They were in the same Clan, they were both good warriors, and loved each other dearly. They were cute and coupley in front of the other cats, and Irisdance held a rgeat deal of respect for her mate. He respected her as well. It seemed like such a happy ending. It was no surprise to the cats of RiverClan when Irisdance moved to the nursery. She was a slender thing, a tall and willowy calico she-cat. Her pawsteps were soft and dainty, even when her belly was laden with kits. Goldenear was strong and handsome, and everyone in the Clan was in awe of him. However, he never wanted to be deputy. Goldenear wasn't that ambitious. He and Irisdance had three kits, and one of themw as stillborn. The stillborn one came out first. It was a beautiful tortie she-cat. Then came Sleetkit, a grey she-kit, and Viperkit himself.

At first, everything was perfect. Goldenear and Irisdance were staring at their beautiful kits, when suddenly Irisdance started moaning. Goldenear noticed that she was pumping out too much blood. The medicine cat ran in, without an apprentice. Irisdance died that night, leaving only Viperkit, Sleetkit and what was left og Goldenear in her wake. Goldenear became moody and sullen. he withdrew, not talking to anyone. Viperkit went up to him and started bothering him, asking him questions. Annoyed, Goldenear lashed out at Viperkit- and started beating him. When Viperkit went to tell Sleetkit what had happened, Goldenear beat her too. The two were crying,b utt he queens thought it was because they were thirsty or missing having a real mother. But Goldenear always beat them, and he never stopped.

That's why Viperpaw wants to become medicine cat apprentice. After mooons of abuse, the tom thinks that if he holds such a high position in the Clan, Goldenear will respect him more.

^{unlike you i know i'm doomed. unlike you i
know that i can't win- i can't survive. i don't
try to hold on.}

parents goldenear && irisdance
brothers none
sisters sleetpaw, flowerkit (stillborn)

^{the difference is i'm not drowning. i'm
just being washed away. my head is above
but i'm not kicking the current.}

The silence was stiffling. As he sat there, waiting for her response, Ebonypaw felt like he had never been more uncomfortable. On the bright side, she hadn't started yelling at him yet, so it surely couldn't be that bad. She might have even- dare he allow himself to think this?- enjoyed it. He watched her golden eyes flash from disbelief to confusion and to neutrality once more. A tremor ran through his heart. Why did she have to be so silent? Why couldn't she open up to him? He had opened to her. He had said things to her that he wouldn't have said to any cat. Now why couldn't she talk back? Why couldn't Goldshard just tell him what she thought. Ebonypaw, though he didn't talk very much, had told her how he felt. He had given her truthful answers and had let her know he felt something. Now here she was, deciding whether or not to give in to him.

It was hard to sit still after that intimate exchange. Ebonypaw could still smell her sweet scent on his thick fur; he could still taste the honey-like flavour of her golden fur in his mouth. The echoes of the warmth they had shared lingered on his muzzle as he watched her anxiously. There was usually something soothing about watching; about being able to sit back and be in control. Not this time, though. This time Ebonypaw felt as if it was him who was being twisted into bits and sliced up. He knew he should be mad at her for being so harsh and hypocritical, but he didn't want to be mad at her. He wanted to watch the way she moved, and the way her golden pelt threw off the thick fog that enveloped him. Suddenly, Ebonypaw caught a sense of just how creepy this might seem to someone. He was only seven moons, and he shouldn't even be having these feelings. But he was large for his age, already the size of a small warrior. He had grown quickly, and maybe that was due to too much hormones- the same ones that gave him these absolutely wrong thoughts.

When I get a mate, Ebonypaw thought to himself, still scrutinizing Goldshard as she tried to get out the right words. When I choose a mate, I'll choose one whom I respect. I won't just choose one because of lust. It was true there. He wanted a she-cat who could bury her prey properly, someone who didn't always know the right things to say. Someone who would curl up with him at night, and someone who could make him feel content without anything else. The black apprentice was smart enough to know he would still need these feelings of lust, but they couldn't control everything. No, his mate was going to be someone he respected and loved. Someone around his age. Someone who could hold her own in a fight. Not- and he repeated this over and over in his head- Goldshard.

It was at that moment she spoke, her voice quiet and shaky. All of Ebonypaw's attention snapped to her response and he was surprised by the need to hear what she was saying. He listened with strange intensity to those two little words. I suppose. What was that supposed to mean? The tom lashed his stubby tail and went back to glaring at the ground. He twitched his whiskers at her to show that he wasn't mad at her. StarClan forbid that she thought he was angry at her. But then if she thought so, maybe her eyes would take on that passion and her fur that sheen- no. He dropped the thought like it was on fire. He didn't want to think about her like that. He couldn't think about her like that. It was wrong. I already know that his inner voice mumbled discontently. No matter how wrong it was, he couldn't change the way he wanted her.

"Right," he mumbled, looking back up at her. He kept it short, trying to show her he wasn't going to overflow like that ever again. He flicked an ear towards her, his molten orbs searching for hers. They connected and a jolt was sent through Ebonypaw. Something told him to look away, but he couldn't. He lost himself in those depths; those golden oceans. He found himself drowning in them as he searched through the sea of emotion to try to find what she really want. What did she really want? It was clear the conversation wasn't going anywhere, so Ebonypaw decided to say something- within his five word limit- that would open up a new conversation. It wasn't exactly scintillating to have them both staring at each other and saying nothing- just watching the other.

His golden optics suddenly withdrew and he flipped a shield over them, hiding his thoughts from her. Shifting his forepaws on the spongy ground, he licked his nose in a childish manner and wondered why he couldn't be like other toms his age- childish, innocent, naive, interested in she-cats their own age. But then again, Ebonypaw had always wanted to be unique. Having affairs with she-cats many moons older than him definately qualified him as unique- though not exactly in a good way. He sighed and shifted, trying to think of something to say- anything to say. Why was talking to her so difficult? Ebonypaw had asked if they were good, she had told him yes- they were supposed to be friends now, right? Friends who can have amiable conversations without thinking about pinning the other down, biting the scruff of their neck- no. He shook his head to clear it.

"Do you like hunting?" the words came out with no inspiration and as a result, they were bland. Left with no feeling, Ebonypaw could only wonder what she was thinking. Afraid of losing himself once more in her eyes, he looked upwards at the distant treetops. He shuffled around a bit, the sun beginning to come through the fog and rust his black fur. The day was warming up- he could feel himself becoming warmer in his heat-absorbant black fur. He sighed and twitched his whiskers, the fog beginning to land on him and dampen his fur. It was a downside to having long fur- more things could get stuck in it- more moisture could fill it. He hated those rainy days when his pelt became covered with mud and soaked with water; when it weighed him down so much it was hard to move. Not to mention that he couldn't sleep with it- it got into his moss and gave him sore joints.

"Do you-" Ebonypaw caught himself just in time. The tom had been busy thinking that he hadn't even noticed the words beginning to bubble up inside of him. Do you have a tom? They had been about to slip out, but the black tom had caught them. Besides, he didn't want her as a mate. Ebonypaw tried to convince himself of that, but he couldn't help the way he hoped she didn't have a tom. At the same time, he hoped she did, and they could just end this silly facade and go back to their own lives. He hoped that she wouldn't follow him after this. Yet at the same time, he wanted her too. Wanted her to follow him into the brush when no one was around, wanted her to bend down- no. No, he wasn't thinking about that. Then the tom realized that Goldshard was probably going to question his stutter. Sighing, the tom ground the earth with his paws.

^{it lights on fire, you know.
those windy days...
those lousy days...}

I want medicine cat apprentice because I do think I should get a high position xD I promise to roleplay actively, but I just misplace my headers.docx so I'm too lazy to go copy paste them from other posts. I've used Viperpaw on another site as a normal apprentice (though with different parents and family and such) and I really do like him. I love the thought of toms as medicine cats.

Also, Viperpaw wants it so his father will stop beating him as much :3

^{don't tell anyone today.
or yesterday.
i'm locked in.}

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